The CrossOver Machine
by Shynkz
Summary: Bottles and Jamjars make a CrossOver Machine! What Games, TV Shows, or even Comics will Banjo and Kazooie go to?? Who Knows......
1. The Machine

The CrossOver Machine  
  
Hey! My name's DC and as you can tell from my last "story" I like twisted humor and other things like that. Well, what happens when you mix my Twisted Humor with Banjo and Kazooie and a CrossOver Machine? You get this story!! Please R&R!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 1 - The Machine  
  
It's 3:00 in the morining in one of JamJars Silos.  
"Yes. We're almost done!" Bottles said as he put down a wrench.  
"True, but who knows if it'll work...." Jamjars replied.  
"It has too, because if it doesn't, then we won't be able to get the supplies we need..."  
"Yes, you're right." Jamjars said.  
One Hour Later....  
"We're Finished!" Bottles said loudly.  
"Not so loud!!! Someone might here you... But you are right, we're done."  
"Hey, who are we gonna send to get the supplies?"  
"Who else.... Banjo and Kazooie." 


	2. The Blender

Chapter 2 - The Blender  
  
"BANJO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE HELL IS MY IRON!!!!!!!???????" Kazooie Screamed.  
Banjo was in the Bathroom, the only place where he can iron his yellow hiking pants peacefully.  
Kazooie busted the door open.  
"Ack!!!!" Banjo yelped as he ripped the shower curtain of the hooks to cover his body. "How many times do I have to tell you, KNOCK!"  
There was a knock on the door.  
"It's too late know, Kazooie!"  
"But that wasn't me..."  
"Really? Then who was it?"  
Kazooie went to answer the door. It was Bottles and Jamjars.  
"Well, whatdoyaknow, it's Foureyes and the Military Mole.  
"Nice to see you too, Kazooie. Where's Banjo?"  
"He's the bathroom wearing a curtain."  
"Well, could you go get him?" Jamjars said, annoyed by Kazooie's Sassyness.  
Eventually Bajo got to the door, WITH his pants on.  
"Banjo, Kazooie, we have some thing to show you...."  
"Is it a new move for me? Like Poison Eggs, or Beak&Arrow?" Kazooie said happily.  
"No." Jamjars said abruptly.  
Jamjars, Bottles, Banjo and Kazooie walked outside. The was a big, uh, something under a rather large bedsheet.  
"Oh, wow, you got us a new bedsheet!!" Banjo exclaimed.  
"NO NO!!! It's whats UNDER the sheet." Jamjars screamed.  
":So we don't get the sheet..?" Banjo said sadly.  
"I don't care, have it if you want! But look whats under the sheet!"  
Banjo went and pulled the sheet off.  
"Cool!! A new blender!"  
At that moment Kazooie poked her head out from Banjo's backpack.  
"It's not a blender!!!!! Its a Game/tv/comic Crossoverer!!!" Bottles said excitedly. 


	3. The Lab

Chapter 3 - The Lab  
  
"And that is...?" Banjo asked.  
"It's a machine that lets you crossover to other Games, TV shows, and Comics. We worked on it last night" Bottles told them.  
Kazooie jumped out of Banjo's backpack.  
"Cool! But why did you build it?"  
"Because, Jinjo Village is running out a magic supplies. And we need you two to get them from different places!"  
Bottles and Jamjar began to explain how the machine works and then he gave them the supplies list.  
"Go! And hurry up! The Jinjo race depends on you two..."  
Jamjars then looked at Kazooie. "The Jinjo race depends on you Banjo!"  
Kazooie ran to the machine. Pressed some buttons and the machine began to light up!  
"Kazooie, wait for me!!" Banjo said as he began to run to the machine. Banjo jumped and got in the machine just as it dissapeared.  
"The Jinjos are doomed." Jamjars said to Bottles.  
"Yup."  
  
The machine came flying out of a time warp and crashed into a big silver machine. A little boy with red hair and glasses ran up to the machine.  
"My gosh, DeeDee! What have you done to my time machine and where have you been!!??"  
A taller girl with blonde hair came up to the machine.  
"It wasn't me this time, Dexter..."  
Kazooie jumped out of the machine.  
"WE'RE HERE!!!!!!" She screamed as she looked around. "MY FAVORITE TV SHOW!!!"  
Banjo then came out of the machine.  
"Where are we?" He said as he rubbed his head.  
"DEXTER'S LABORATORY!!!!!!!"  
Dexter was confused.  
"Uh, excuse me, if you don't mind me asking, we have you come to my laboratory and broken my Ectoradiator?"  
Banjo exclamed everything to Dexter. Then he looked back to the ship.  
"Oh no! It's ruined!"  
"Don't worry, I can fix it." Dexter began to fix the ship. "Who ever made this must not be very smart. Half of the screws are in tightly. This thing could have broken apart in mid-flight."  
"Thanks for helping us. Hey, who was that girl that was by you?"  
"DeeDee? DEEDEE!! Where are you?!" Dexter looked around, see saw Dee Dee and Kazooie playing games no to far from wear he was working. "Stupid DeeDee..."  
A few minutes later, Banjo and Kazooie were in the ship ready to go.  
"Thanks for your help... uh, Dexter, right?"  
"Yes, that is correct." Dexter said.  
"Ok Kazooie, lets go get those supplies. And this time, I'M flying."  
Banjo and Kazooie waved goodbye and the ship dissapeared.  



	4. The Parcel

Chapter 4 - The Parcel  
  
The ship came out of the warp and slowly landed in front of a shop in a small town. A boy came out of the shop with a closed jar filled with purple water.  
"Huh?" The boy said, confused.  
Banjo came out of the ship.  
"Who are you?" The boy questioned Banjo.  
"Oh, hey, my name's Banjo, what's yours?"  
Kazooie pooped out of the backpack.  
"My name's Kazooie!!"  
"Cool! My name's Ash Ketchum!"  
A small yellow animal poked out from Ash's backpack.  
"Oh, and this is Pikachu!"  
"Pika!" Pikachu said excitedly  
"Uh, cool, um, do you know where we can find a parcel.... Oak's Parcel?" Banjo asked.  
"This?" Ash asked as he held up the jar.  
"Yeah! That's it!" Banjo said.  
"Hmm, I don't know, Proffessor Oak might need it. I'll give it to you on one condition... we have a Pokemon battle!  
"Uh, but we don't have any Pokemon..." Kazooie said.  
Everybody then looked at Kazooie.  
"NO! I'm not doing it!!!"  
Ten minutes later....  
"Alright, lets go... PIKACHU, THUNDER ATTACK!!!!!!!!"  
"Pika!!!" Pikachu said, then, the clouds became black and thunder struck, on Kazooie...  
"Ow... ow.... ouch......." Kazooie said.  
"Ow, isn't it against the rules to hurt birds, or something?" Kazooie asked.  
"Kazooie! Shut up and use your Grenade Eggs!!"  
"Grenade Eggs?" Ash said, confused.  
Kazooie spit a Grenade Egg at Pikachu, knocking him out.  
"Pika...Chu?" Pikachu then fainted.  
".... I guess you guys win... I'll never be a Pokemon master if I can't even beat you two..." Ash then gave them the Parcel and ran to a village in the South.  
"I feel bad now, Kaz...., Kazooie, where are you??!"   
Kazooie was already in the ship.  
"C'mon Banjo, lets go!"  
Banjo got in the ship and it disappeared.  



	5. The Web

Chapter 5 - The Web  
  
The ship landed slowly on a paper-like ground. A man with brown hair was literally blown away. Banjo came out of the ship once again. The man got up.  
"Who... WHAT the hell are you?"  
"My names Banjo, and this.." Banjo pulled Kazooie out of the backpack "Is Kazooie."  
The man looked down.  
"Heh, nice pants."  
"Uh, thanks, yellow really makes me look good, huh?"  
"My names Peter, Peter Parker."  
Kazooie jumped out of the backpack.  
"SPIDERMAN!!!!!"  
"Huh? What? How did you know? Who told you!?" Peter asked, scared.  
Banjo looked around,   
"Hey, this isn't a game or a TV show, this is a comic!!!"  
Banjo looked back and Kazooie was tied up a webbing. "Hey! That's my partner you just tied up!! Kazooie, Ice Egg!!!"  
Kazooie then spit and Ice Egg at Peter.  
"Asshole" Kazooie said as she wriggled free from the webbing. "What did we come here for?  
"Some kind of webbing..." Banjo exclaimed  
"STUPID! That's what that Spiderman tied me up in! I have to unfreeze him!!!"  
Kazooie then hocked up a Fire Egg and spat it at Peter.  
"AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!" Peter Screamed. Then he was burnt to a crisp.  
"Uh, oops, I forgot, this is a comic..." Kazooie Said.  
Kazooie saw that Peter's hand wasn't all burnt and she took the web making machine off his hand.  
"Is that it?" Banjo asked.  
"Yup. This thing makes that cool web-stuff!" Kazooie put the machine on her hand and jumped into Banjo's backpack. "Let's go!"  
Banjo got in the ship and a few seconds later it disappeared.  



	6. The Crystal

Chapter 6 - The Crystal  
  
The ship slowly landed on a small platform in the middle of a BIG room.  
A rather large Bandicoot with bulging eyes came up to the ship.  
"Whoa! Cool!"  
Banjo came out of the ship.  
"Who are you?" The Bandicoot asked Banjo.  
"My name's Banjo, and there's a breegull in my backpack named Kazooie, but she's sleeping right now. What's you're name?"  
"My name's Crash! Crash Bandicoot! Why the hell are you in this warp room? Aku Aku said that I was the only one in here." Crash asked.  
"Well, we're looking for a crystal. Do you know where we can find one?"  
Crash looked above a level-warp that said Turtle Woods. He jumped up and grabbed a purple crystal you mean this? NO WAY!! I need this! But, I'll give you it if you help me beat a level..."  
"It cant be that hard.." Banjo said. Lets go!  
Crash and Banjo then entered the level via warp.  
  
Banjo looked around, there were some fruit in the shape of an arrow pointing forward, and Crash was no where in sight. Banjo picked up the fruit and walked forward. Nothing yet, no bad guys, no nothing. He walked forward a little more. Then, he heard a sound. It sounded like something was about to fall.  
"Uh oh..."  
He looked up, nothing. He began to run.  
Then it happened. A humongous boulder fell from the sky and began rolling after Banjo.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Banjo screamed as he began to run faster. The boulder began gaining on him. He took off his back pack while running and tryed to wake Kazooie up. Nothing. He grabbed the web-machine Kazooie was holding and put it on his hands. He press the button with his middle finger and shot webbing at the boulder. The boulder was soon engulfed with webbing and slowed down, then stopped altogether.  
"DAMN!!" Banjo said, panting like hell. Banjo saw a warp up ahead. He ran through it.  
  
Crash was waiting there when he came out of the warp.  
"Here you go" He said as he handed the crystal. "Hey! I'll give you more crystals if you beat more levels for me! How about it?"  
Banjo flicked Crash off then pressed the button with his middle finger and cover Crash with webbing and got in the ship. Then the ship disappeared.  



	7. The Powder

Chapter 7 - The Powder  
  
Note: I don't want to give anything away. But in this Chapter, when Banjo from Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie is talking, I say Banjo1. And for anyone else, its Banjo2.  
  
The ship slowly landed on some green grass.  
"AAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Screamed a familiar looking bear in yellow shorts, as he drove his GoKart into the ship.  
"What the..?" He said as he got out of the Kart.  
Banjo came out of the ship.  
"What the..?" He said as he got out of the Ship.  
There Banjo stood face-to-face with...........  
Himself.  
"Who are you???!!!" Asked the Bear from the Kart.  
"I was about to ask you the same thing!!" Banjo1 said. "Uh, if you don't mind me asking, what game is this?" Asked Banjo1.  
"This is Diddy Kong Racing!! My names Banjo, what's yours?  
"I GET IT!!! This is Diddy Kong Racing, this was the first game I was ever in! No wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!! My name's Banjo, also!!! Banjo1 said.  
"Where are you from?" Banjo2 asked.  
"Well, in the future, you'll be in this game Banjo-Kazooie, then, you'll be in another game called Banjo-Tooie! Im from Banjo-Tooie." Banjo1 said.  
Kazooie then came out of the ship. She saw the two Banjos.  
"Uh, Banjo..., I mean Banjos, what.., who..., why...?" Kazooie was confused.  
"And there," Banjo exclaimed, "Is your loud mouth, ugly-ass partner, Kazooie."  
Banjo told Kazooie every thing about how there is two Banjos and what game they're in.  
"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Kazooie said, then she went back to sleep.  
"Wow, he's lazy." Banjo2 said.  
"He?! That ugly thing was a girl, my friend." Banjo1 explained to Banjo2. "Anyways, do you know where we can find magic powder?" Banjo1 asked.  
"There's this magic elephant over there that might have some..." Banjo2 said as he pointed to a large purple elephant in the distance. "Here, I'll give you a ride." Banjo2 said.  
Then Banjo1 got in the GoKart and they drove off to see the elephant, the wonderful elephant of Oz.  
  
When they got to the Elephant, he was baffled.  
"Oh my goodness," he said in a Hindu-ish accent. (No offence to all you Hindus out there.) "There is more-than-one of you. How can this be? This is strange, very very strange!"  
Then Banjo explained everything to him... Blah Blah Blah.....  
"Magic Powder is the thing you seek? No! ITS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Elephant then ran away. As usual, Banjo flicked off the elephant and tied him in webbing. Then he took the powder.  
"Cool!" Banjo2 said. "I've always wanted someone to do that!"  
At that moment, Diddy Kong, and all the other racers came on fighter jets and started chasing after Banjo and Banjo.  
"AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed at the same time and began to run to there ships. Except Banjo2's ship was his GoKart, and Banjo1's ship was his uh, well, his ship. Banjo1 got in his ship and it soon disappeared. Banjo2, on the other hand, was shot to a million peices by the Jet Planes Bullets. (Jets are faster than GoKarts...)  



	8. The Detour

Chapter 8 - The Detour  
  
"BANJO!!!!!!!!!!!! I got an idea!!" Kazooie said and then she started pressing buttons on the ships control panel.  
'But Kazooie, we have to get this stuff to the Jinjos!" Banjo said.  
But it was too late, the ship was already headed where Kazooie pointed it to.  
  
A few minutes later, the ship landed on the top of a HIGH castle. It was nighttime and it was raining. A bear and a bird were fighting a witch on a broomstick. What game was this? Of course, it was Banjo-Kazooie. Kazooie ran out of the ship.  
"What is this? The loud-mouthed bird! TWO OF THEM?? This is abserd!" Gruntilda said, rhymingly.  
Banjo and Kazooie2 looked at Kazooie weirdly. Kazooie started to peck a hole in the ground and the Jinjonator came out of it. The Jinjos attack Gruntilda until one of her eyes fell out.  
"Good Bye for the third time, Gruntilda." Kazooie said, then she spat a Clock Work Kazooie Egg at her and it exploded and broke Gruntilda into a thousand pieces. Kazooie then ran back into the ship and it disappeared.  
  
And ya know, it was a happy ending. The Jinjos were saved. Blah Blah Blah.  
  
THE END!!  



End file.
